When it's a Saturday morning, you've just gotten donuts, and your whole family's in the car singing Beatles songs at the top of their lungs on the way to a Frontier Festival, you just feel like you're doing something right as a parent. Today was a warm, fuzzy day.



Maya trying her hand at archery.



James shooting the buffalo gun



Preparing for the cannon to fire



Maya wanted her picture taken with the little cannons


James doing his best imitation of a soldier

Jack

I'm not a dog person. I guess I'm not really much of an animal person at all - in spite of the few years as a child where I was torn between aspirations of being a veterinarian and a pet store owner. I don't like to have a dog's slobbery tongue on my legs when I'm wearing shorts. I don't like to be jumped on. I don't even typically like to pet a dog because I must immediately wash my hands.

I've always turned up my nose at young couples who (before having children) purchase a dog and then treat him (to an annoying degree) as their child. I've always (privately) shook my head in disbelief at the amount of sadness some people express over the loss of a family pet.

But here I sit, crying yet again because yesterday Kevin had to bury our Jack. Maybe it's because I've had my share of grief the past three or four years and any loss puts me back in that familiar and unhappy place. Maybe it's because when we told Maya that Jack had died she burst into tears and I had to witness the grief (however misguided and short-lived) of my little baby girl. I don't know.

But now that he's gone, I know that he WAS a part of our family. I know that however smelly or noisy or annoying he could be - I DID love him. And I know that I will miss him terribly.

America is screwed.

I can say this with confidence based on several different interactions my family and I had on our recent trip to Arlington. I present my case:

Example A: Brazen "Cheating"

When we go to Arlington at any point between April and September, it's because we're headed to see the Rangers. We might also visit museums, shop a little, swim, eat at cool restaurants, but the main attraction for our family is always baseball. And so, we always make a point to stay at a hotel that includes free trolley service to and from the ballpark. Last week, we went to a game on the Fourth of July, knowing it would be hot, crowded, and that the trolley wait would be considerable. Still worth it.

Anyway, we headed down to the trolley stop around 5:40 - the scheduled time for the trolley was 5:47. And we waited - on the hot asphalt with little to no shade in 100 degree weather with two impatient and hungry young children. When our wait time reached 45 minutes, and quite a few prospective trolley passengers had given up and opted to take taxis, a very large family group of adults and almost grown children came out to join in the wait. Two of the women stood upwind from us and smoked, but no serious harm done. Five minutes later, though, the hotel airport shuttle (a glorified van) pulled up and the driver said he'd take all he could fit. This large family proceeded to push and shove to get their entire group onto the shuttle. I told them (several times and definitely loud enough that they could hear) that most of us had been waiting (with small children) in the heat for 45 minutes, and they completely ignored me. As they piled into the van, Maya began to cry. They noticed, and again, quickly looked away.

I was completely disgusted. Even now, I am baffled that grown women and men would not hesitate to push their way past (among many others) a young family with two small children who had been standing out in the heat and obviously had a place ahead of them.


Example B: Complete Disregard for Others

We stayed in the Arlington Hilton. I got a greal deal through Priceline ($45 per night) and that is honestly the only way we were able to stay five nights in a 3 1/2 star hotel. Anyway, though, two nights out of our trip, our next door hotel neighbors (many adults and several kids) returned from their day's events at 12:30 at night and proceeded to yell, clap, run, loudly laugh, and talk their way down the hall, ending with loud talking just outside their door (and ours, as well) and finally allowing the heavy wooden door to slam.

Luckily, my kids are heavy sleepers and did little more than stir. Again, though, with as much trouble as Kevin and I go to to make sure our kids are calm and quiet and respectful of others in the hotel, I was blown away at how little this group seemed to care that their actions likely woke half the people on our floor.


Example C: Reckless Profanity

Again, this happened in the Hilton - it definitely did not seem as classy of a place as it has in the past. On the last morning of our vacation, as we lazily got ready and packed our things, we all heard our next door neighbor (a different one this time) scream (no exaggeration there) just outside our door "F*** YOU! YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYONE BUT YOUR F***ING SELF!" And an accompanying door slam.

Now I don't know about other toddlers, but Maya picks up words like crazy. She uses words and phrases like "appropriate" and "That's not fair!" that she hears once or twice and fits into her vocabulary. From listening to the GPS in my mom's car during our trip, she started using the word "destination," for goodness's sake. So, she hears someone scream "F*** you" in anger, it could certainly pop back into her head the next time a kid on the playground shoves her, or she's mad at her brother. "F*** you" would not sound too cool coming from an adorable, curly headed little girl.


We honestly had a great trip - maybe the best we've had as a family, but a few things were marred by some really offensive and depressing behavior. Offensive because I was genuinely flabbergasted at each action and depressing because I hate to think about the example being set (or not set) for the children of this generation.

Jon & Kate

I don't watch this show. A while back, when I kept hearing friends mention "Jon & Kate Plus Eight" in passing, though, I thought I'd check it out. To be honest, it just didn't interest me. I watched an episode where the main "story" was that the two oldest daughters enrolled in cooking classes, and that was pretty much it. It was, honestly, really boring. Enough so that I had no further interest. Other than that, the only clips I've seen were featured on "The Soup," and all of these were clearly indicative that Kate is a woman who frequently emasculates and undermines her husband. (By the way - if you read this and you DO watch Jon & Kate, I'm not judging you. I mean seriously - I've watched every season of Big Brother. Do what you will with that information. I'm not proud of it.)

Anyway, though, all the current media crap surrounding them hasn't escaped my attention (unfortunately). So, when I saw that they were preparing to make a big announcement on tonight's show, my nosey-ness got the better of me. When I sat down to check tomorrow's forecast (as if there's even a remote chance it'll be anything but miserably hot), I clicked on the headline mentioning that Jon and Kate are set to "split."

Here's a link to the particular article I'm referencing, in case you're curious:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20090623/tv_nm/us_jonkate

Two phrases really caught my eye. One, is that Jon says he is "hurt" but also "excited." Two, is that Kate says, "The show must go on." ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! They're going to keep filming?! And who can walk out on eight beautiful children much less 10 years of marriage and be "EXCITED" about it?!

Now, they assure us in the article that their marriage would have taken this course with or without having televised the past however many years of their lives. So I guess there's no harm in televising the hurt and loss and grief of eight innocent children coping with their parent's very public divorce, either. Divorce doesn't REALLY affect children, right? And marriage is easy. And if your feelings change, you can always get out of it. Screw your vows. Screw the kids. Give in to the "excitement" of a new single life. Because, after all, "the show must go on."

http://www.drlaurablog.com/2009/06/18/standing-up-for-people-values-and-ideals/

I appreciated this blog post from Dr. Laura. Standing up for what is right seems to be a dying virtue in today's society. The fear of being thought of as "judgmental" seems to keep so many people from doing or saying the right thing. There is still such a thing as right and a wrong. We must still differentiate between truth and lies, and between good and evil. We must still stand up for the weak, the innocent, the oppressed, the mute, the young, the old, and the infirm.

As C.S. Lewis states in "Mere Christianity," "Christianity is a fighting religion. It thinks God made the world - that space and time, heat and cold, and all the colours and tastes, and all the animals and vegetables are things that God 'made up' as a man makes up a story. But it also thinks that a great many things have gone wrong with the world that God made, and that God insists, and insists very loudly, on our putting them right again."

Surely the least of which should include taking the time to open our mouths to speak against attacks on our core values and beliefs, and to speak out for those who cannot speak for themselves.

You know that tongue-twisting passage (I think it's in Romans?) where Paul talks about how the things he does NOT want to do, he does, and vice versa? Sometimes I swear it applies to motherhood more than to anything else.

Sometimes I have moments when I feel like everything has come together and I'm doing a good job mothering my kids. Unfortunately, though, I am often plagued with worry about whether I'm playing with them enough, whether they get enough time to be outside, whether I'm somehow driving Maya to an eating disorder in adolescence by insisting she finish her sandwich, whether I'm alienating James every time I lose my cool and snap, whether the house is organized, whether I cook often enough, and whether we eat at the table enough, whether we pray together often enough, and on and on and on.

For what I do (wasting time on the computer, cleaning the house, watching tv) is not the good I want to do (taking my kids for a walk around the neighborhood, reading to them more often, playing board games); no, the evil I do not want to do--this I keep on doing.

I love being a mom more than anything else. My children are so incredibly precious to me. I guess that's why the weight of my responsibility to them sometimes seems so great, so overwhelming, and I end up feeling (as Paul said) "wretched." I know I'm a good mom, and I know my kids know that I love them immensely. I just want to do them justice, and sometimes that seems like an insurmountable task.

My picky girl.

Maya is quite possible the pickiest person ever. Here are some examples:

1. When she snuggles with Kevin, she often requires him to wear two shirts because his chest hair bothers her.

2. She won't sit on my lap unless I have JUST shaven my legs. She'll point to my legs, wrinkle her nose, and say, "Don't wike (like) dat!"

3. She hates to eat anything that's broken or not completely whole. She has literally thrown herself on the floor in a fit of tears over a broken graham cracker.

4. If she detects even the SLIGHTEST odor with her very delicate nose, she wrinkles up her nose and says, "Mell (smell) something. Mell stinky." She once spent most of the afternoon crying because I had bathed our dog, and she didn't like the wet dog smell.

5. When we cover her up at night, she requires her cozy blanket first, and then her blanket made by her great aunt Ruthie. If you get this backwards - she is NOT happy.

6. Her diet consists of milk, graham crackers, unbuttered popcorn, fruit, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. When we give her pizza (a common kid favorite) she only eats the crust, and she won't even try most other things. Maybe if we could find a way to dye all her food pink...

7. When she was 18 months old, she was directing me which dress she wanted to wear to church on Sunday. "No - not dat one!" she'd say.

Adolescence should be interesting.